Happy Birthday DAD

I havn't written much about my dad since his passing 5 months ago. It has still been a little too painful to write about but I feel like I need to now. Today would have been his 45th birthday. I have learned so much from my dad during his short life and I feel like I am still learning from him. Now, it is learning how to deal with grief, and a realization of what so many other people have gone through. I have known others who have lost a close loved one, I could imagine their pain and grief but I didn't KNOW what they were really going through. I hope now I can be more sympathetic, and helpful to those who will have to go through the loss of a loved one.

I have learned to let people know how you feel about them because you never know when your last chance could be. I don't have any regrets when I think of my relationship with my dad. He was so easy to love and so humble that you couldn't help but tell him how you felt about him. The thing I struggle with the most, I guess is that I was gone the last year of his life. I know I was where he wanted me to be and that he was proud of the decisions we were making in our life. I only wish that I had called him more....even if it was to leave a message for him on his phone to wish him a good day, or tell him I loved him. It is those little things that I find I miss the most. I know the messages that I have from my dad, even the little "I hope you have a good day, or I was just thinking about you" have now become precious gems in my life. Tell your family and friends you love them as often as you can.

Life is too short and too precious for grudges, petty little disagreements, and bad feelings. My dad was always so kind to EVERYONE. He let things go and he didn't judge people. Someone could have done something mean or said something to hurt him and he would ALWAYS forgive them. I know that is a hard thing to do. (believe me I have my problems) I think one of the strongest and best character traits is to be a FORGIVING PERSON. I have have been a firm believer of this since Austin had cancer but it has solidified so much more since the passing of my dad. Love everyone, you don't know what they have been through in their life. Life is too short for regret. Forgive today because tomorrow may be to late.

My dad was a great listener, I know that I don't listen to people as much as I should. I think a lot of the reason that people loved to talk to my dad (well besides his funny sense of humor) was because he listened, truly listened. I know that I need to be more like him in this area. He could have a million problems going on and when you talked to him you would never know. He was always the one listening to everyones problems and making others feel important. It is important to talk and share your problems but equally important to listen... to your kids, your friends, and your family. You can learn a lot about people and yourself if you just take the time to listen. Thanks dad for always listening to me rant and rave:)

I could go on and on about the things I am continuing to learn from my dad...or things he tried to teach me through is example that I am now just realizing. He is missed more and more each day. He was such a great person that he has left such a huge hole in so many of our hearts. I know that I still question why he had to be taken from us so early in his life. At times I still think that it is not fair and get angry that he is gone but I know that in time, I will grow in my faith and my understanding of these things. He was such a great guy that I guess I should feel lucky that he was here on this earth as long as he was. I do feel so blessed to have had the privileged to be Marks daughter for 21 years. He truly helped shape me into the person I am to day. I love him so much and really hope that I can continue to learn from him and follow his example.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD, I LOVE YOU!! OXOXOXOX